Dear A-Hole – Is there no end to the suffering caused by Iraq?

Q – Hi Ahole. Boy am I glum tonight. I really wanted to relax and watch some TV but lo and behold, there was the President on just about all of my favorite channels. Isn’t there some better way for him to tell us things – or at least one that doesn’t mess up my shows? Tiny Tina

A – Not being much of a fucking TV or president man myself I didn’t fucking notice that he was mouth-farting on the ol’ boob tube tonight. But I do fucking understand that for some douche bags (cough, cough, Tina) TV fucking matters and it has to be fucking annoying when their an Oral Office (so named in honor of Bill Clinton) press conference. With this in mind, I have come up with a fucking solution.

I use fucking MyfuckSpace and Facebook and shit (feel free to fucking look me up and friend me) and the fucking government should just fucking tell them that they want to sent send bulletins to all the fucking members with whatever fucking bullshit they want to pump out. And if fucking MySpace says no or something the IR fucking S can just jack up their fucking taxes by a million fucking percent. They could also take their fucking passports so they don’t go and try to set up shop in some overseas shithole. And if they do manage to fucking escape, we can send in a bunch of fucking Ebola-infected monkeys to chase them down and fuck with Poopert Turdock too while they’re at it. That way there won’t be any fucking problems with TV. People who fuck with TV are assholes.