Dear A-Hole – When in Rome

Q – While I have diligently searched the internet in search of an answer, I didn’t want to trouble you with such a trivial subject, I must now beg of you that you explain to me why the guys that are over the Super Bowl must use those darn roman numbers…I just don’t get it…

Thanks, C.G.U.

A – You know, that’s a good fucking question. There’s lots of fucking things I don’t know and some of them have to do with that shit. I never know what the fuck L means and isn’t there a fucking D or some shit?

My fucking hunch, and it’s just a fucking hunch, is that they wanted to add some fucking class to what is essentially an orgy of consumerism.  It’s a fucking affectation, an attempt by some lame-ass marketing cock holes to tie this fucking sport (which I unabashedly fucking love) to the spirit of Gladiatorial contests.

It doesn’t work for fucking me.  I take foot ball at face-fucking-value: it’s a bunch of huge fucking guys chasing each other around a field in commercial-friendly increments.  Adding a bunch of fucking Ms and Ls and Xs and Vs isn’t going fucking change that and it doesn’t add anything to the game.

The only thing it does do is confuse dumb humps like me who don’t know what the fuck number it is – and who frankly doesn’t even fucking care.  I mean shit, two of my other favorite sports: baseball and soccer don’t do anything but say what fucking year it is for their championships.

Football should drop the fucking pretension, wake up to the fucking fact that the Roman empire is no more and join the 21st fucking century.

The douche bag who came up with this stupid idea is an asshole.