Q – Hi, I have a question A-hole. I really want to tea bag my wife but aren’t sure how to broach the subject with her. Any ideas? Handsome Rob
A – I gotta hand it to you Rob, not many fucking guys have it in them to rub their sweaty scrot bag on their girl’s face. Kudos to you for being such a forthright asshole by considering even asking her. See, the way I fucking understand it is that tea-bagging is something best shared AFTER the fact rather than with permission.
Here’s what I’d fucking suggest. Get some fucking sleeping pills or shit and make sure said wife is out like a fucking light. Next, get your fucking hands on a camera, a tripod, etc. Then, set it up in the room where she’s sleeping. Finally, snap some fucking pics of you rubbing you wrinkled old nut sack all over the fucking place.
Don’t say anything the next day, just keep your mouth fucking closed. When you get the pictures, have one of them made into a T-shirt with a cute caption like “I’m NUTS about you,” and give it to her for her birthday or some other fucking holiday or something. Whatever you fucking do – be sure there are plenty of people around when she opens it.
You could also think about just fucking getting one for yourself and then picking her up at work in it. I’ll bet her fucking co-workers will be fucking impressed by seeing your ball sack resting on her cheek or forehead, don’t you.
Anyway, an awesome fucking question Rob and good fucking luck. Anyone who isn’t into tea-bagging is a fucking asshole.
Anyone who did that to me (unawares at least – if you’re so into your balls, fucking grow a pair and just ask her) would swiftly lose said testicles. However, nahole, your suggestion is pure fucking genius. I would only do that if she said no. Seriously, you’re married, it’s your job to do freaky shit for each other. People who refuse to do freaky shit for their loved ones are assholes. However, people who don’t have the balls to ask for their freaky shit are assholes too.
Comment by greenmetropolis — February 11, 2008 @ 11:53 am |
I just have the fucking idea stuck in my fucking head. I imagine him sending it to his mother in law with a caption – “I’m nuts about your daughter.” I’ll bet that would go over real fucking big.
Comment by nahole — February 11, 2008 @ 12:46 pm |
I dunno dude, I always worry about wills and shit like that. As in ‘you might want to stay in the will’.
Comment by greenmetropolis — February 11, 2008 @ 3:58 pm |
Fuck the will Greenie – you only live once and the look on this motherfucker’s mother-in-law’s fucking face would be priceless, don’t you think?
Comment by nahole — February 12, 2008 @ 7:50 am |