Q – Hello N.A., this is REALLY embarassing. I was at work yesterday and was picking my nose. I got something that looked pretty good so I ate it. The problem is a buddy saw me do it and told everyone. Gene
A – Well Gene you’re officially a gross fucking douche bag. What the fuck comes out of your nose that “looks pretty good?” A steak, some marshmallows, a fucking chicken wing? Help me out here buddy because the only fucking shit that ever comes out of my nose is blood or snot and nether of those look “pretty good” to me. And certainly not good enough to fucking eat.
Even though you’re a gross fucking fuck, I’m still going to fucking give you a hand. So now at work everyone hates you and gives you shit. This is natural and you should expect it. The solutions are limited – you could a) kill yourself – but this seems a little draconian, b) get a new job or c) kill everyone who knows.
A and C are a little fucking extreme so don’t do those. I put them in for comic fucking relief. Getting a new job is the only fucking answer. Not just a new job though buddy, you’re going to need a new fucking identity in a city far away from whatever snot-munching shit-hole you currently call home. Who the fuck knows, maybe there’s some tribe of snot-eaters somewhere who would welcome you with open arms and shit. Good luck.
People who eat their snot are assholes.
I think I like people who eat snot and/or boogers are a lot better than the people who put them on walls, seats, desks, or any other area another human being can touch or sit on. Those people are true assholes.
Comment by bronsonfive — February 6, 2009 @ 6:34 am |
I don’t eat my snot, just my words. But most likely, everybody in the world has eaten his/her snot at least once–particularly in his/her childhood. So we’re all assholes!
Comment by Scott — April 27, 2009 @ 5:26 pm |
To each their own buddy. Yeah, I agree that we’re all assholes. Some just take it too fucking seriously and they’re the ones who fuck it up for the rest of us.
Comment by nahole — April 27, 2009 @ 7:47 pm |