Holy Shit I’m Fucking Back!

Hey.  So Chris the Asshole (I can’t really fucking call him that anymore but I’m kind of fucking used to it) fucking came through and shit.  Last night that motherfucker calls me and says he wants to fucking buy me a beer at a place down the street.  So I’m fucking skeptical and shit but beer is beer and free beer is free beer so I say “what the fuck” and head out the door.

When I get there the guys asking all squirrelly and shit and I figure the dumb bastard is going to get all fucking teary-eyed or something.  Instead, he reaches down to the floor next to him and hands me a brand new fucking MacBook Pro.  I’m not talking about one just loose and shit but one still in the fucking box.  I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes when he handed me that thing.

Now it isn’t one of the newest, newest ones with the fucking new mousepad and shit but fuckin’ A, the guy came through.  I don’t know how many cocks he had to suck to make enough money to buy me the fucking thing but I don’t really give a shit.  I mean he could have fucking munched every ass, licked every dick and bit every pillow in Boston for all I care.  Whatever he did it was pretty fucking stand-up of him and so I figured my first post had to be to say thanks to him.

So Chris the Asshole (yeah, I’m still going to call him that) thanks for fucking manning up about this shit and making right what you fucking made wrong before.  It must have sucked to have to give so many guys blowjobs but not having a computer because some dick spilled beer on it fucking sucked too.

Now I need to get my fucking rhythm back.  Not writing for a while has fucked me up big time.  So lets get those fucking questions rolling everyone, N.A. Hole is back.

Dear A-Hole – Fucking Walmart sucks

Q – Asshole, on Sunday, I was helping a friend with a computer problem and had to get them a new hard drive.  It was almost 9:00 which is when all of the stores here close.  I went to Walmart’s site and it said the store near me was open till 10:00 so I rushed over and got there at 9:15 only to be told that they closed at 9:00.  That really frosted my flakes.  Why do they suck so bad?  Klinghoffer

A – Because they’re fucking Walmart.  Look dude (of dudette) that place blows more fucking chunks then all the winos in Newark.  Your fucking question raises a whole fucking bunch of questions that I think need fucking answers:

1 – why the fuck are you “helping” a fucking friend?  Friends are supposed to help you, not the other fucking way around

2- are you fucking trying to impress everyone with you mad fucking skillz?  “Oh, my fucking name is Klinghoffer and I’m a fucking douche bag.  Do you need a fucking hard drive?  Maybe I have one up my ass that you can have.

3 – why didn’t you just punch the jackass at Walmart in the fucking mouth and just go in there to get the shit you needed.  Leaving is something only a fucking pussy would do and I guess that makes you a fucking pussy.

In fact, you’re a fucking idiot pussy who shoves shit up their fucking ass.  Walmart doesn’t fucking suck – you fucking suck.

And and asshole.