Q – Dear Hole – Can you tell my why this story about Billy Joel in 1977 is the lead story on CNN.com? Thanks – The Stranger
A – Good goddamn question. I looked there just now and was left totally scratching my fucking head – and my balls. I mean I don’t really give a jumping monkey fuck about this scabies-ridden douche bag myself so I can’t figure out why the fuck anyone else fucking would. And to hear him boo-hoo-hooing about sucking shit? Who can fucking take that crap?
I’ll be fucking honest with you – I didn’t even read the whole fucking story. Why the fuck would I? Now if the headline was something like mine – “Billy Joel and Balls” I might have read more. And if it had started with something like – “In an emotional fucking interview with that old cock head Larry King, shitting fucking singer guy Billy Joel admitted to sucking balls” – then I would have read it for fucking sure.
But guess the fuck what? It didn’t. It’s about how bad he used to suck and how 31 fucking years ago someone thought he didn’t suck quite so bad. They were fucking wrong. Billy Joel does suck – shit, balls and ass – so get him the fuck off CNN (and the fucking radio and TV while you’re fucking at it).
Fuckin’ A, there’s got to be more important news than that Billy Joel sucks. CNN and Billy Joel – assholes!
