Dear A-Hole: Pull the fucking plug – Stat!

Q – Dear Hole.  Tomorrow is thursday.  Do you know what I love about that day of the week?  It is that ma favorite show is on TV on Thursday.  What is my favorite show?  It is ER.  I love that show.  What do you think about my favorite show, ER?  Brenda

A – Earth to Brenda – You’re a fucking douche bag.  First of fucking all, where the fuck did you learn to write?  Your writing sucks ass wicked bad.  I would recommend breaking all your fucking pens and throwing away your keyboard.  That’s the only think that’s going to protect us from your fucking stupid writing.

Now on to ER.  I think I have made it fucking clear that I hate TV.  Therefor it makes sense that I would hate ER (it being on TV and all).  But that would only be half the fucking story.  No, I hate ER so much that I can’t even find fucking words to describe it.  When I see commercials for E-fucking-R I need to get the fuck out of the room or I might a) destroy the TV or b) blind/kill myself.

Didn’t this show start out in black and white?  What the fuck is it doing still on the fucking TV.  This show is like a fucking backed up toilet that dipshits keep on crapping in – a total logjam of celebuturds festering the fuck away in craptown.  Can someone PLEASE lob some liquid fucking plumber on these poor bastards and move them the fuck out of here?

I mean seriously, this fucking show is deader than Heath Ledger – and while they’re still trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him, figuring out what happened to ER is a fucking snap.  The fucking show sucks ass.  Look, grab a bunch of dogs and get some friends together.  Next, grab the fucking dogs by the fucking tails,  Then suck their asses.

Now you’re probably saying, “Holy shit that’s a fucking terrible idea,” and you’d be fucking right.  But somehow, the cock stains that make ER haven’t caught on to the fact that sucking dog ass is gross.  And the fucking longer people watch the fucking show the harder it’s going to be for them to fucking learn.

We have to demand and end to shit like this – over extensions, remakes, spinoffs, etc. – can’t anyone come up with any fresh fucking ideas?  Jesus how hard can it be?

Anyone who is in ER, makes ER, watches ER, knows someone who watches ER, has heard of ER or seen a fucking preview for it is an asshole.  Especially you Brenda.

Dear A-Hole – I-a-won!

Q – N.A. – I am worried that I’m going to lose my job.  Why?  Because I didn’t go to work today?  Why?  Because I can’t pull myself away from the scintillating pre-Iowa caucus on CNN.  Pretty gripping, don’t you think?  Floam

A – Listen Floam, I got something for you to fucking grip hanging right between my fucking legs (unless you’re a fucking guy).  I hope you’re being fucking sarcastic because if this is fucking exciting to you your fucking life must really fucking suck.  I don’t even know what day this fucking thing is happening, how it fucking works or why it even fucking matters.

News Flash – the fucking election isn’t for another 11 fucking months.  Who gives a stumbling monkey-fuck which one of these shitbirds wins in fucking Iowa.  (No offense to any fucking Iowans by the way, just in case I decide to run for fucking office there or something.  You guys apparently have some pretty fucking tall corn and shit, right?)

I’d get more fucking excited watching a fucking show on fucking penguins or something than these dry humps mouthing off all the fucking time.  I flicked over to CNN just to see what the fuck is worth losing your fucking job over and I saw one dusty looking fuck droning on and fucking on, followed by a fucking woman with a fucking grin on her face that made her look like I was going down on her.  WTF?

People who get caught up on this shit are assholes.